Top ten Ways to Help a Child Stop Hair Pulling or Skin Picking

Top Ten Ways to Help a Child Stop Hair Pulling or Skin Picking

Hair pulling and skin picking are two of a cluster of behaviours known as Body Focused Repetitive Behaviours. Trichotillomania Support is an organisation for all your concerns about your child. Welcome to our family.

You can print the numbers for your child to colour in, when they have managed that number of hours or minutes without pulling or picking.

It is likely that your child will be texture-oriented. We recommend taking them to a fabric store and asking them to feel different fabrics to identify which they prefer and which they dislike. This might save you from buying them clothes they refuse to wear and will help you to identify the fabrics and feels which soothe them. Get creative, make some fun inner cuffs for school shirts.

Teach them to reach for textures to soothe themselves.

REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY

Reverse psychology can work really well with many children. Say something like “Whatever you do, don’t let your hands go up to your face!” Then add, “You might have to sit on them to stop them sneaking up.” It turns things into a game and helps children take responsibility for their hands.

CONSISTENT REWARDS
Try using sticker charts to build up to a reward, like a toy or a treat. For some children, you may want to give them a sticker for each hour they go without pulling or picking. For others, a daily or weekly reward may work better.

NIGHT-TIME SLEEP PROBLEMS:

Many children pull or pick in their sleep or just before. A tight-fitting hoodie can help to reduce access to the hair and skin, or you can try mittens.

Weighted blankets can reduce anxiety and movement.

Soothing bedtime routines with dimmed lights, gentle music or audio stories and no screens for an hour before sleep can all help.

UNDERSTAND IT:

Pulling and picking is rarely about the hair or skin — it’s often a way of coping with anxiety, boredom, frustration, or tiredness.

Try not to focus too much on the pulling itself. Instead, help your child learn healthy ways to manage their feelings, like talking, drawing or moving.

Always show warmth and kindness. Let them know you’re on their side.

NOTICE GOOD MOMENTS:

Children often feel ashamed or guilty about their behaviour. So instead of pointing out the times they’ve pulled or picked, notice and praise the times when their hands are busy or calm.

“Well done for keeping your hands down during that movie,” or
“I noticed how still your hands were while you were drawing — brilliant!”

REDUCE STRESS:

Stress makes pulling and picking worse — but it’s not always obvious what’s causing it. Try to spot patterns. Is it worse before school, at bedtime, or after screen time?

You might want to reduce the schedule and build in more calming time, cuddles, or one-to-one attention.

USE A TIMER:

Set a timer for short periods and challenge your child to keep their hands down or busy until the bell rings. Start small — even just one minute.

Gradually increase the time as they succeed. This builds confidence and helps them feel more in control.

DON’T SHAME:

Children who pull or pick are not being naughty. They often don’t realise they’re doing it, and they usually wish they could stop.

Telling them off, showing frustration or asking them why they did it can increase stress and make things worse.

Instead, offer a hug and say something like, “Your hands are really busy today — let’s find something they can play with.”

LEARN TOGETHER:

You don’t have to fix this alone. There are books, videos and support groups out there. Learning together helps your child feel understood and supported — and it reminds you that you’re not alone either.