Support for Friends and Family of BFRB Sufferers

Welcome to our dedicated resource for friends and family of individuals with Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviours (BFRBs). We understand that supporting a loved one with BFRBs, such as trichotillomania or skin picking, can be challenging. Our goal is to provide you with the understanding and tools you need to offer effective support.

Dear Friends and Family

You are among a few cherished people doing their best to support a hair puller, skin picker or person with another Body Focused Repetitive Behaviour.  

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. 💕

This letter goes out to parents, partners, friends and supporters – congratulations for being part of the chosen few.

Please know that it is nothing you’ve done which has resulted in hair pulling or picking, or anxiety related behaviours. There is a genetic root cause and probably also a series of triggers. These are recognised health conditions and the person with a repetitive behaviour is a normal person with an non typical stress response.

Understanding Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviours

Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviours (BFRBs) are complex conditions which involve compulsive actions like hair pulling and skin picking. These behaviours are often driven by underlying emotional distress, making them difficult for the individual to control. Understanding the nature of BFRBs is the first step in providing compassionate support to your loved one.

A BFRB probably remains an issue for life. Sometimes it is unnoticeable and other times may be blatant. NOW is always a good time to ask for help.

Helping Loved Ones with BFRBs

We know you will want someone you love to stop hurting themselves. However, we can’t emphasise strongly enough that the solution must always come from the person themselves, even if that person is a child. The best support means empowering the person to make the decision to stop. As a friend or family member, your support is invaluable. Here are some ways you can help:

Educate Yourself:

Learn about BFRBs to better understand what your loved one is experiencing.

With the greatest of respect, however deeply it hurts, this isn’t about you. The person with the BFRB, although they might not admit it, hurts a million times more than you – even if you are the parent. They probably blame themselves though they may not show it, and don’t need more guilt. This is not a bad habit and it is not something they deliberately do.A BFRB is like being taken over by a trance or someone else’s hands.

Be Patient:

Recovery is a process, and setbacks are normal.

You will have noticed that you can’t win. You’ve tried ignoring, shouting, distracting – they’ve asked you to help and then might shout at you when you do. WE are here to help you so you can be there for them. Distraction helps more than persuasion. Incentives help, but please – if you’ve promised a reward, don’t withhold it due to a small setback. Agree a compromise if possible.

Offer Support, Not Judgment:

You don’t have to understand and you certainly shouldn’t pretend that you do. Offering praise will boost the person’s self-esteem and someone who feels good about themselves is unlikely to self-abuse. You cannot control the other person’s actions but you can control your response. Be sympathetic and treat each setback as just that. A setback is never proof that a person cannot recover. Everyone who has ever recovered has had tons of setbacks. Encourage open communication and be a listening ear without passing judgment.

Encourage Professional Help:

Suggest seeking help from qualified, specialist coaches.

Compassion and Support for BFRBs

Compassionate support involves empathy, patience, and understanding. Recognize that your loved one is not their behaviour and that they are struggling with a challenging condition. Small acts of kindness and words of encouragement can make a significant difference in their journey towards recovery.

Resources for BFRB Caregivers

We offer a range of resources to help you support your loved one:

• Educational Materials: Access articles, videos, and books on BFRBs.
• Professional Guidance:Online coaching and our acclaimed self-guided course.
  

  Effective Help for BFRB Individuals

  Effective support involves understanding and addressing the underlying causes of BFRBs. Encourage your loved one to seek online cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), ACT and evidence-based treatment. Support them in setting realistic goals and celebrating their progress, no matter how small.

  Family Guidance for BFRBs

  As a family member or friend, you play a crucial role in your loved one’s recovery. Create a supportive home environment by:

• Reducing Anxiety: Help minimize stressors that may trigger BFRBs and gradually increase supported social exposure.
• Promoting Healthy Habits: Encourage activities that promote relaxation and well-being.
• Being Involved: Stay informed about their treatment plan and progress.
  

  BFRB Awareness and Support

  Raising awareness about BFRBs is essential in reducing stigma and fostering a supportive community. Share information about BFRBs with others and advocate for more resources and research. Your efforts can help create a more understanding and supportive environment for those affected by BFRBs.

  Caring for Someone with BFRBs

  Caring for someone with BFRBs requires patience, empathy, and resilience. Take care of your own well-being as well, as supporting someone with a chronic condition can be demanding. Seek support for yourself through our helpline +44 7900 114739.

   

Thank you for taking care of your loved ones and look after yourself. We are here for the whole family, for life.