It can be hard to understand why someone would pick themselves apart - read this to get a better understanding of BFRBs
For most people it would feel slightly uncomfortable to pull hair out, but for a person with Trichotillomania there is a comforting sensation, which the person wants to repeat and repeat.
Some people experience urges as itching, and some as pricking or hurting beneath the skin. Many feel like small insects are running around under the skin of the scalp or the rim of the eye. Skin pickers often feel like there is something under a spot which they must dig out.
Why can't they just STOP?
To truly understand a compulsion, think about how you might feel when you are swimming underwater … you really WANT to breathe but you’re holding your breath. You’re physically compelled to breathe, but you need to use strong mind force not to do so. We’re often compelled to do something, but that something doesn’t have to be good for us. Trichotillomania urges are stronger than wanting to eat that cream cake, because we can walk away from a cream cake.
It’s like having a magnet in your hand and the attracting magnet in your head, because your hand gravitates upwards without your say-so, some of the time.
The physical addiction to hair pulling is strong. Obsessions with searching for a root or selecting the right hair can be overwhelming and long periods of time can pass without awareness.
Tricsters find hair pulling soothing and comforting, it doesn’t hurt and it’s an occupation requiring nobody else’s involvement.
Many people with Trichotillomania are obsessed with feeling or biting the root of the hair.
You might need to accept that you can’t change your child or friend’s behaviour. How will you feel if they continue to pull forever? You might feel as though you can’t cope with that situation, but you would learn to handle it kindly.
It’s almost impossible for anyone to understand unless they’ve lived and breathed it, but do try to be supportive. You’re doing great, just by reading about it.
How Does Hair Pulling Feel? Arguing With An Angle Grinder
He leaned over the balcony, the smell of the ocean as powerful as his voice as he shouted down “Can you help us out? We’re trying to do a radio interview here.”
“I’m a contractor”, the man with the angle grinder yelled back, gruffly. “Time is money!”
Softly softly catchy monkey. Alistair was not to be deterred. I was amazed by his confidence and businesslike approach to this out-of-the-ordinary situation. In any profession, overcoming obstacles is important – how would he manage it?
He had travelled from London to Bournemouth to talk to me about my journey with trichotillomania and my approach to treating people who skin pick or pull out their hair. He had three hours in Bournemouth to gather enough information for a teensy segment. I had a lifetime’s experience to condense into 5 minutes. I needed help.
Having negotiated a deal with the dude with the angle-grinder, Alistair explained what he wanted me to show the audience. Confused, I asked “How do you show someone something through the medium of radio?”
“You make them FEEL how you feel, you engage with them in a more verbal format with vivid descriptions.”
I got it! This funny, very presentable and charismatic young man (I’m in my 50s, they don’t come visiting all the time) invited me to conjure up a feeling of compulsive hair pulling in a nutshell. It triggered my emotion.
“Imagine you really love your cat, but it gets under your feet and in a temper, you kick him”, I said … “Then you think why the hell did I do that and you really hate yourself, but before you know it your leg’s gone out and you’ve done it again and again and you just can’t stop. Imagine the build up of that self-hatred, moment after moment. That’s how hair pulling feels!!!”
Do you agree with my description? How do YOU feel when you pull? Can you paint a picture in words? Use the comment box below … Post a comment and I will do my best to respond to each and every one.