Recovery and Relapse in Body Focused Repetitive Behaviours
Hair Pulling Relapse? How to Recover After a Trichotillomania or BFRB Setback
Encouragement for the days when it feels never-ending
When you have a condition like hair pulling, skin picking or any of a number of BFRBs, it is easy to feel like a rollercoaster of recovery and relapse. Everybody experiences periods when old habits return and with a BFRB it is even more complex, because of their compulsive nature. Getting stuck on the cycle again can feel devastating.
Maybe today isn't the time to judge yourself, but the day to be kind to yourself. Survival days are wins simply because you SURVIVE them.
If you have done well for a while and have now slipped up, then this is the page for you. Hey, it's HARD. Sometimes the rebound effect can find you sinking into misery.
BFRBs by their very nature are relapsing and remitting conditions. Recovery is rarely uninterrupted. We take a few steps forwards, then a step back, over and over again. That's devastating at the time, but it is also ok.
Nobody can erase your successes. Forgiveness is vital.
Visit this page when you're back on the downward tilt.
We forgive you, so you can forgive yourself.
Recovering from a BFRB relapse can feel impossible, but feelings are not facts. I remember reaching 90-something days so many times that I despaired of ever getting to 100. Yet I did - in 2001 and I've been in recovery ever since. If you're reading this after slipping up, please don't decide your future based on today. Read on. This article is here to help you regain your footing.
Recovery is a personal journey and for many, it restarts many times, which is absolutely fine. Allow your process to take the time it takes, with false-starts and setbacks. Please read this entire article - it will help you refocus on your true goal of BFRB FREEDOM.We know how it feels. You finally felt like you were in control and then one challenging day and you feel like everything is unravelling. Trust me, you are still in tact and it is ok for the process to take as long as it takes. Every time you practice your healthier habits, you are strengthening your skills. All those urges you resisted happened - they haven't been swallowed up by a setback. Every lesson you learnt is still yours. A lapse is not the same as starting over. Our goal is not to never stumble, but to make sense of our setbacks and keep moving on.
Slipping up After 4 Years Pull Free
4 years after graduating from our Intensive Course for Recovery From BFRBs, a client called me. She had slipped up and was upset with herself. I approached her with empathy and understanding, despite feeling elated that she had achieved four whole years without pulling. After listening to her disappointment and grief, I finally had a moment to say “But you managed four years without hair pulling, and that’s fantastic. You still have all those skills.” She replied, understandably, that while perhaps she did have those skills, she couldn’t find them. I was aware that at this stage many coaches would have sold her another treatment plan, but I knew she didn’t need that. I pointed her to some free resources on YouTube and congratulated her for sticking to her Relapse Prevention Plan by calling us as soon as she had slipped up. I reminded her of her self-help manual which we had made during her recovery and sent her a free copy of our latest hypnotherapy recording as a reward for her four years pull free. She knows how to get back in touch, but we left it that she would call us if she slipped up again.
ACTIVE BFRB RECOVERY
The words “active” and “passive” pay a huge role in BFRBs. Picking is a passive behaviour, while recovery is active and ongoing. Recovery strategies for BFRBs require being active and committed to growth.
Recovering from a BFRB relapse
You CARE about grooming yourself and that’s a good thing. Review your beliefs about yourself and use hypnotherapy to update them.
Mastery comes from self-acceptance
Setbacks happen in all walks of life, forming highly valuable lessons. The pain that comes with setbacks is temporary. Recovery that happens again and again doesn’t become less worthy of celebration, but more so! Many people manage BFRBs with a balanced attitude and helpful support.
Understanding BFRB Relapses: What You Need to Know
BFRBs often have periods of remission and relapse. If you had another health problem, you wouldn’t beat yourself up if one day was significantly worse than the last. You would learn to deal with the illness by thinking positively and looking forward to the next good day.
For every person who is 100+ days BFRB free, there were many stretches of 2 days, 5 days, a week, a month and longer, all with relapses. Remission is ALWAYS just around the corner.
Self-Care Tips During a Relapse
During a relapse, self-care is crucial to help manage stress and regain control. Start by practicing mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing exercises or meditation, to stay grounded and reduce anxiety. Establish a routine that includes regular physical activity, as exercise can boost your mood and alleviate tension. Prioritise sleep by maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, as rest is essential for emotional resilience. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it’s reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature. Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends or family, for emotional support and encouragement – you don’t have to explain why, although doing so may be helpful. Self-compassion is key; be kind to yourself and reassure yourself that setbacks are a natural part of the recovery process.
A setback isn’t solid or written in stone, just moments of hopelessness, distress, anger … all transient. Just feelings, which, once expressed, help you see the light through the darkness. The only certainty in life is change. Who says there is no cure for BFRBs and trichotillomania? Prove the professionals wrong … Stub out that setback.
Everyone has bad days and that’s ok. You can learn to encourage yourself and (yes, honestly!) even reach out for help. You will get through your bad days and out the other side.
Your last good stint was not your last hope to become BFRB free. A setback isn’t the end!
CHANGE THE PATTERN! FORGIVE YOURSELF. MOVE ON.
So you suffered a setback: just like the rest of us humans. We’ve all done it. Now is the time to emerge, pull-free and happy. YOU CAN DO IT.
You can switch your mindset to motivated and determined. Just give yourself a kind, comforting pep-talk and we promise, your thoughts will upgrade and your mindset will turn a corner. There is always hope. Never give up giving up!
The human mind LOVES to make excuses. Why? Because excuses allow us to stay stuck, they allow us to keep pulling.