Urge Resistance as a Skillset for BFRB Recovery
If you are faced with a BFRB such as trichotillomania, or dermatillomania, you will understand how these conditions can be driven by the urge to find time and space for picking. When I explain this to parents, I liken it to holding your breath when swimming under water, or trying not to blink.
n this article, we demystify the skill of urge resistance.
Resisting urges is imperative to master, particularly when you have a tendency towards impulsive, addictive, or unhelpful behaviours. We are all familiar with the good feelings of having resisted that extra slice of cake, and the “If only I hadn’t” feelings when we have done the opposite. Urge management is emotive. Feelings of failure often result in negative self-talk, so please bear in mind that urge management is a lifetime’s work.
If we couldn’t resist urges, our lives would be in jeopardy. From curbing impulses to overeat, smoke, to engaging in compulsive counting behaviours, resisting urges is crucial for personal growth and overall well-being.
Understanding BFRB Urge Resistance:
Urge resistance is often called urge surfing; this refers to the ability to withstand and overcome powerful waves of impulses that arise within us. Urges can be incredibly challenging, and resisting them can be like trying to stay upright while surfing high waves. Sometimes we will give in to immediate relief rather than surfing them for the long-term benefits. Developing the capacity to resist strong urges is helpful towards achieving our long-term goals of breaking free of self-destructive patterns.
Learning to resist urges effectively has numerous benefits. It helps to provide a feeling of mastery, which enhances resilience and encourages more self-control. The enhanced self-esteem, if properly recognised and nurtured, then provides the fuel to continue. By gaining control over impulsive actions, we can increase our confidence in our ongoing ability to resist harmful temptations and make good choices. This, in turn, can lead to improved quality of life.
Strategies For Cultivating Urge Resistance
A quick acronym to remember this is: ADD-US
1. Accept: you have this condition and will have triggers that will make you more likely to slip-up: Identify the situations, environments, or emotions that tend to trigger your pulling or your urges. Responding rather than reacting to your urges empowers you to resist urges triggered by specific circumstances. The better prepared you are, the better the outcome – so arm yourself using a good barrier to pulling and fidget toys.
2. Develop Alternative Coping Mechanisms: Stress, negative thoughts and emotions and particularly boredom contribute to urges. We all benefit from finding healthier ways to address these. Practice increasing exercise, meditation and hobbies as positive outlets for triggers. Use strong tactics to divert attention away from the urge. Exercise is the most successful of all the urge reduction techniques.
3. Defrazzle: Mastering mindfulness techniques can form the ultimate foundation in building urge resistance. Mindfulness involves observing your thoughts, experiences and emotions without judgment. Releasing attachment to experience can be helpful. By becoming aware of the urge as it builds, you can create space, which enables you to choose a more beneficial response. As you go about your day, you can let your attention ease away from distractions and unhelpful thoughts. Don’t aim to ignore or suppress distractions or unhelpful thoughts but listen and acknowledge them, smile at them, and then ease them on their way. Return to the breath and focus on the current action in the present moment.
4. Use Distraction Techniques: When an urge strikes, divert your attention to something else. Engage in a task that requires focus or immediate action, such as solving puzzles, calling a friend, or performing a physical activity. By shifting your attention, the intensity of the urge can decrease, making it easier to resist.
5. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family, or professionals. Establishing a support system can provide encouragement, guidance, and accountability during the difficult moments of urge resistance. Consider joining support groups or seeking therapy to receive specialized assistance.
Urge resistance takes practice, repetition and commitment and is a skill that can be developed and strengthened over time.
Use the ADD-US acronym: accept your condition, develop alternative coping mechanisms, defrazzle, use distraction techniques, and seek support. Building urge resistance is not about perfection but about progress, routine, self-kindness and bouncing-back. Embrace each small victory as a step towards a more fulfilling life, free of compulsive behaviour.
